Forgiveness – The Pure Happiness

Today I gave following speech at Toastmasters International Speech Contest (Club level), I didn’t won but I felt very good after giving it.

Tragic Story

On October 2, 2006 a terrible incidence of violence occurred in an Amish village in Pennsylvania. A young milk delivery truck driver entered an isolated one-room school carrying a loaded rifle. He ordered the teacher and the male pupils to leave.

Eleven young girls, the oldest 13, were lined up for killing. The oldest girl, in order to gain time for the others, asked to be shot first. She was shot and killed. Her 11 years old sister offered to be second. She too was shot. The gunman shot all of them killing five on the spot and injuring the rest. Then he shot and killed himself.

The girls’ families and the entire Amish community felt shocked and hurt.

But they responded in a most extraordinary manner. They reasoned: ‘all deaths are God’s will. So we grieve but gracefully accept His will. The killer too is dead. His family too, like us, grieves. All of us, therefore, are victims of violence.

So, few days after the tragedy, the whole Amish community went to the killer’s house to offer food and condolences to his grieving family.

The world was incredulous that such forgiveness could be offered so quickly for such a heinous crime.

Question

If I ask you a question – What is one of the most difficult things to do for a normal human being? Some of us may say climbing Mount Everest or skydiving from 15000 feet or counting your hairs or licking your own elbow, I believe there is one thing which is more difficult than climbing Mount Everest or counting your hairs which is to forgive someone who has caused you deep pain and who has hurt you badly? If we try, we might one day climb Mount Everest but forgiving someone who has caused deep pain sometimes seems pretty impossible. We simply can’t forget, we simply cannot let it go. How can we let it go without returning same amount of suffering and pain that we have got?

Anger and Hatred Never go

We get hurt, our heart get filled with anger and hatred, resentment and bitterness and this feeling of anger and hatred never go away, pain becomes insurmountable, unforgettable, unforgivable. It carries away with us wherever we go. And day by day it keep increases and when we on keep holding our grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds we get more hurt with every passing day and sometimes just by thinking about that person or incident we feel extreme pain and hatred.

Slow Poison

We carry our pain throughout our life but we fail to realize that our anger and hatred is not hurting the person who has caused it, our anger and hatred is not making the person realize how bad we are hurt but the only person is who is hurting with our pain and hatred is us, Anger and hatred is like slow poison which will kill you slowly from inside and it will never end if we do not get it out of our system.

Forgiveness Virtue of Braves

Many times we feel that if we forgive a person without making it even or forgive him without giving him same amount of pain that we are going through, then people will take us as week hearted, people may think that we are coward and afraid, but let me tell you, week people can never forgive; it takes considerable amount of courage to forgive someone who has given you pain, forgiveness is the virtue of strong hearted people.

Liberating Gift

If we can find forgiveness in our hearts for those who have caused us hurt and injury, we will rise to a higher level of self-esteem and well-being. Some recent studies show that people who are taught to forgive become “less angry, more hopeful, less depressed, less anxious and less stressed,” which leads to greater physical well-being. Another of these studies concludes “that forgiveness … is a liberating gift that people can give to themselves.”

Better Alternative

It’s hard to forgive, but forgiveness is something you do for yourself. I agree that forgiving those who has hurt us is not easy, but it is much better alternative than choosing to live with the pain of bitterness and resentment, with the pain of anger and hatred.  Forgiveness does more for you than anyone else because it liberates you from negativity and lets you move forward. Forgiving might not make anger totally dissolve but it will give you the freedom of knowing you are so much more.

Pure Happiness

Pure happiness is achieved when you forgive a person who has done you harm; you detoxify yourself of all negative energy, free your mind, and purify your soul and body.

Perhaps that’s why Martin Luther said: “Forgiveness is pure happiness.”

32 and Single

I came 2nd runner up at Area Level Humorous speech Toastmasters contest with following speech which I changed around 90% from the last humorous speech which was at club level. It was a great learning experience humorous speech is all about timing, expressions and how you deliver.

PS: Please note that whatever written is not 100% accurate as I added many things to make it humorous like age I’m not 32 yet etc, enjoy the speech.

Title : 32 and Single

“Everyone I know is getting married or pregnant, I’m getting just AWESOME”

Contest Chair, Fellow Toastmasters and Esteemed guest.

I was sitting in my office cubicle, peacefully working, when she came one of my colleagues came to me and asked “Rajesh, what’s the matter with you? All of a sudden you have turned all prim and proper… you come to office in formal wear. Are you trying to impress someone? The new girls, I think”. I said “No, there is no particular reason to wear formals, I was fed up wearing casuals so, I decided to shift to formals” then she said “No, this can’t be the reason, you are trying to hit on someone, who is it? just tell me?” I said “No I’m not trying to impress anyone, I’m wearing formals just like that…please trust me (and go away)” and She said “You are now 32 and you don’t have girlfriend, and still not trying to hit on anyone…… is everything okay….?” I shouted “No…….there is no problem” then she said are you sure? I said “are you sure…. Are you sure? What do you mean by are you sure…. what makes you think so…..I’m single by choice and if I ever get a chance then I will show my best manly performance”

Ever since I turned 32, it seems like whole world has turned after me to sell off my single bed and buy double bed. Consider this my dad travelled all the way from Nepal to Kolkata, just to check if everything is okay with me, after I turned down 15th marriage proposal sent by him. He said “Son, I’m coming to Kolkata” I said “you have got some work?” He said it’s been a while, I just want to spent time with you” (I want to spent time with you…..) I’m never 32 and he never talked like that, You know how Army man are like, rough and tough, no display of emotions are all. He came and He stayed 10 days with me, He checked my entire phone contact list, latest dialed history and received call history, messages everything, you can imagine how worried he is that I’m still single as all the sons and daughters of our family tree is now married and many of them have children who call me and says uncle-uncle when you come back to Nepal in this Puja holidays get me an Android phone with 5 mega pixel camera and 1 GB RAM.

Ever since I turned 32 It’s not just my parents, my relatives and my dear friends, but whole world has turned after me to rent 2BHK apartment, now days wherever I go I hear only 3 rhetorical questions – whether I’m travelling, shopping, eating food in restaurant, now days even our company clients has started asking same 3 rhetorical questions, which starts with – Are you married? I humbly reply NO, and then I get 2nd inevitable question “Do you have a girl friend?” I again humbly reply NO, then I get 3rd ….one word…. deadly question… any idea…..what that could be? Well the 3rd question is “WHY?” they want to know why I’m still single and don’t have any girlfriend. I generally don’t answer to that question and just give a broad SMILE.. like I’m very happy and I’m so glad that you reminded me about my situation that I’m getting old and soon if I don’t find any girl then it’ll be too late, I don’t reply to that 3rd question but sometimes I really-really want to reply that 3rd question, with all my heart, I want to say –

I don’t have girlfriend cause I want to

  1. Save time.
  2. Sleep well.
  3. Don’t want to bother about missed call.
  4. Don’t want to worry about how I look.
  5. I don’t want any SMS in middle of night.
  6. I don’t want to recharge my phone daily.
  7. And I am really happy being single.

But the fact is these are all excuses of my mind to fool my heart that “all is well… all is well… there is nothing wrong in being single, you are the man and you are a very happy man” but the problem is I can no longer fool my heart, as I can now clearly see my grey hairs.. no matter how often I pluck them, they just grow up quickly, when I Pluck one grey hair, 3 of them replace it, so I thought I better not to touch them; I can no longer fool my heart as I can clearly see my receding hair lines, now I can’t even cover them with long hairs as when I keep long hair they starts falling, I have this short hair style not by choice but by compulsion.

The situation is very much similar to the story of my search of girl for getting married as after turning down 15h marriage proposal I realized that I’m single not by choice but because I don’t have any choice as all the eligible girls in Nepal gets married by the age of 23 or max by 25, and those who are left and still single, are the one who makes you feel that you better stay single no matter you are 32 or 35 and keep saying all is well… all is well.. you are the man.

I’m Single by Choice, not by Compulsion

Last Tuesday I contested for ‘Toastmasters Humorous Speech Contest‘ (Club level) please check my speech, I came 1st runner up and I’m competing for area level too, if you can give some input to improve it would be great as it is very raw and has many scope of improvement, I sent it to many veteran Toastmasters for mentoring but they are all very busy -

Speech Title : “I’m Single by Choice, not by compulsion”

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I Love You !

Please check my Toastmasters Project 6 speech, Title ‘I Love You’ -

I was in 3rd class, it was a beautiful bright sunny day, my usual normal school day, everything was going just as it used to be, all those long boring classes after classes then in our surprise we got a good news that our next subject teacher was not taking our class, Very next moment we found our self on seventh sky, we all started shouting, hooting and chattering but our class prefect was very strict she said “If any of you make any noise I’ll give your names to our class teacher and you know what will happen then”, suddenly we all got terrified with the thought of facing that terror lady (our Class teacher) and then we decided to settle down and started whispering in ear,  In next 5 minutes all got busy with their some creative works; some were making paper planes, some were drawing on their desk and many other works. Then to my wonder I found a guy sitting next to my seat was drawing flowers on arm of a girl sitting next to him. I felt urge of sharing that incidence with my 3 best friends then immediately I got up and went to their seats and in mischievous tone I whispered in their ear; “Look.. Look.. What they are doing ;-)”. Continue reading

My Dream Job

Please check my Project 5 Speech at Toastmasters. Title “My Dream Job”

“Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same. ”

When I was 3 years old I saw my 1st movie it had such a great impression on me that I decided what I wanted to be in my life and I wanted to be a ‘HERO’ and my idol was Mithun Chakroborty and I wanted to dance like him, I wanted to fight like him, I wanted to kick like him, I’m not sure but I must have thought if I become hero then I’ll be very happy.

As I grew older I found I can’t even impress girl next door and fight guy next door to her, forget becoming a Hero, I got disappointed then I came to know about a term ‘ASTRONAUT’, now I wanted to be an Astronaut, I wanted to get into my Rocket and travel through space, I wanted to go to Moon and I wanted to reach out for the stars. Every night during load shedding I used to gaze at sky and see amazing stars, constellations and bright Moon, I used to think one day I’ll be there and I’ll be very happy.
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Three Two One, I Jumped and I was… FREE

Bungee Jumping

Please find my fourth Speech project at Toastmasters which is about my triumph over fear of height. Enjoy ;-)

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” 
~ Nelson Mandela

We are all afraid of something in our life; some are afraid of losing their relationship, some are afraid of getting into new relationship, some are afraid of dying and some are afraid of living, some are afraid of failing in examination and some are afraid of getting lesser than 90%. Some are afraid of getting chance in life and some are afraid of not getting chance in life. Some are afraid that they are getting fat and some are afraid that they are getting thin. Continue reading

The ‘NO’ Bacteria!

My Toastmasters Project 3 Speech : ‘The No Bacteria’ (My Story of how I got into Comfort Zone and How I Get out… technically It doesn’t speak much about Getting Out of ‘Comfort Zone’ as speech was getting too long for 7 minutes time limit but still there are lots of take aways ;-) )

“Nobody ever died of discomfort, yet living in the name of comfort has killed more ideas, more opportunities, more actions, and more growth than everything else combined. Comfort kills!”

How many of you like to live routine life, waking up at  5 AM, Jogging, Yoga, Pranayama, Kryia, Meditation, Getting ready for office, office hours, coming home, watch Supernatural show, Dinner, Reading books and Sleep (That’s my Usual routine). Doing same thing again and again?

Well, I simply hate to follow same routine, I hate monotonous life, I hate to eat same thing again and again except Maggie masala which is lifeline of every single breathing bachelor in India, In short I hate doing same thing again and again. That is why I keep changing my routine, keep doing new things, keep challenging myself, When I get bored with my food, when my taste buds stops responding to whatever I eat then I go for fasting 24×3 days which helps me to regain my taste senses and enjoy my food again. Continue reading

Power of Thank You

My Toastmaster Speech – Project 2

“Whoever Has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.”

I know it sounds pretty unfair that whoever already has will be given more and who don’t will be taken from him, it’s like “Rich will get richer and the poor will get poorer” and this passage is from an ancient holy scripture. But there is a catch, a riddle to be solved , and when you know it a new world will opened up for you. And the catch or riddle is one single word “Gratitude”. Continue reading